dishusbandmata

Growing up for me was blissful. I had a father who would listen,  empower  and reinforce to me the fact that God fearfully and wonderfully created me. Daddy told me daily how I could be anything I wanted to be. You see, my daddy was 30 years older than my mother. He was better educated in “terms of certificates” than her and he was a greatly travelled gentleman. My mother on the flip side, was only a standard six certificate  holder, from  a more humble background but “a very intelligent woman” without the glory of “many paper certificates”.   By virtue of the gap in their background, my mother’s mantra was to beat the discipline physically, by “fire by force” into one’s body. My father would discuss with you and explain very calmly, ensuring that you understood what and why you need to make recommended changes. The two had modus operandi that were the opposite to each other.   I look back and cannot remember the one time my father hit me or ever ...

As a child, I really didn’t look forward to being a teenager.   When I finally turned thirteen, I told myself over and over that I wasn’t as smart as I thought.   This was because I had heard about and seen so many naughty teenagers and I really didn’t want to be like them.   Most of them did things their parents would never dream they were doing, but I really wanted to have an open relationship with my mom particularly.   It was really cool to be sent off to boarding school, where I was technically ‘safe’ from certain issues. There were all kinds of girls in this ‘safe zone’ and without televisions, radios or the invention of mobile phones, all we had were a few novels and our personal   stories to keep us entertained.   Some girls told of how open they were with their parents, while others took pride in how eluded their parents were to their true identities.   All these variations of the female specie helped me to decide the kind of relationship I...

One of the benefits of becoming older   is that we begin to acknowledge the sacrifices our parents made; putting food on the table, shelter over our heads , giving us education as they could afford and then the part we come to appreciate later, disciplining us. While I was growing up, my mother was greatly feared by myself. Being a strong disciplinarian, she did not spare the rod at all but I would not say I was beaten unnecessarily. Most times, when I got a beating, it was well deserved. One of the beatings that still remains eternally tattooed in my memory was the one I got the first time I stole. It was just one naira(Nigerian currency) and then it was a note. I had had the temptation for so long. You see growing up, myself and my siblings went to a private school and were chauffeur driven to and fro school. We had breakfast at home and during the break, we had cold drinks (samco-orange/chocolate ) with some biscuits given and after school closed by 1pm, our parents’ dr...

I have quickly had to start writing another post as I discovered that I did not have access to the article I had already written.I did not want to start all over again and it was with great hesistancy I began to write another piece, By the time I actually started and had won the mind game, I began to wonder how many times we all actually refuse to do something new because we are stuck with the familiar or do I say, how many times do we actually fail at our new year resolutions because we have undermined the power of habit and the familiar.] Even in our everyday relationships, there is a tendency to remain with the familiar irrespective of how dysfunctional it may be. I was reminded about this recently when one day last weekend, I parked my car in a spot that was extremely convenient.  I literally got out of the car and slipped into work. This was something I could only do during the weekend as there were no traffic fines. What was puzzling however was that immediately work...

My 2017 was a roller-coaster ride. I experienced a lot of turbulences but I found that majority of the issues were more evident in my relationships. I saw last year as an epiphany process as it entailed things being exposed to me. (I was faced with some harsh truths about my relationships, my identity and most importantly where I stood in the midst of it all). I come from a big family with 5 children and being the first child has always meant that I don't always get the chance to sulk. I was always the one to get the full weight of responsibilities or the lash of my parents frustrations whenever my younger siblings would misbehave or a plan of the parents would fail. About 5 years ago, my parents relocated leaving me and my siblings behind. From the tender age of about 19/20, I assumed parental guidance over my younger siblings. As you can imagine, it has been such an overwhelming experience. I never thought I would be a mother at the age of 19 but I guess life thought othe...

Our Dear Readers, Happy New Year to you.We are grateful to God for a new Year.Glad also that we all finally made it .It is the 5th day in the New Year and perhaps still plenty of time to write down our goals for the year. We as a team do have some goals for this year 2018 and with your help in spreading our message and work, we hope to serve humanity better .. Every Friday in 2017, the team at  dishusbandmata  worked hard to ensure that  there was a new story and post which was packed with lessons for all.We are really grateful for the time you take to read and share our blog.I hope you did not miss the last post of the year 2017 written wonderfully by Lily called "Resolutions". At the end of 2017, we had a survey and new suggestions have come up which we have taken on board. This year , we will be featuring the "Home Truths" series which is a contribution from our aunties, mothers&grand mothers on the issue of relationships and it promises to b...

I think this is a word we try to avoid these days as the saying ‘ promises are made to be broken’ seems to taunt the very essence of resolution making.  I mean, if you can’t keep a promise you make to yourself then why bother at all?  This is the season when church folk start to look out for the ‘Word for the new year’, both from their home churches and any other places of worship they affiliate with.  We want to get the word and run with it.  Some churches have already released the ‘catchphrase’ for the year 2018, and others will do so in the coming weeks, but how do we run with the word all through the year, and not break the promises we really want to make to ourselves? Ok so here is the hot gist that inspired this article.  It’s Christmas time and I had been looking forward to my husband coming home for the holidays. We all look forward to Christmas platters, but if you are the one who has to do all the cooking – it’s not always a fun job.  Anyw...