dishusbandmata

So dear readers, we have finally made it to the last day of the year and with a sense of gratitude for your patronage throughout the year, really want to appreciate you all specially . We would like you to know we do not take it for granted that you visit and read   this blog. Neither do we take your shares, word of mouth testimony or even your comments on the blog, not to mention the many several texts  you send appreciating the work we do . Our passion is real as it breaks our heart over and over again to see people suffer because of the unhealthy relationships .  We want to serve you better in 2019 and would like you to help us do so, Can I crave your indulgence to please fill this survey and get as many that you share the blog to to do likewise.  Kindly click on the link below  :Estimated finish time-5 minutes https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/KC9C7P5 Gracillis.

Whenever we read an autobiography, one of the things that is noticeable is that it is not the day to day activities of the people’s lives that are written down rather it is the significant events in their lives that we read about and the word significant in a good autobiography does not necessarily mean   “good.” Sometimes events are unfolded and recounted, which   may to a reader seem common or trivial however the significance of the events recorded is at the sole discretion of the author. And so coming to the last   Friday of the year, I will not attempt to give a rundown commentary of the year rather taking stock,   .I would say, that for me, I am grateful, grateful to be alive and   in my right mind ! Sometimes when we come to the end of the year and start to look back, there is actually a mixed feeling of regrets and triumphs   and I do know a number of people whom this year has been a year where they cried tears of joy as they saw things they had desired for so many year

It was my birthday. I had a party  and several friends were invited. It was not that I had many friends but they all tried to turn up. Most of them managed to address birthday cards to me. In those days, that in itself was expensive.There were some cards that I had duplicates and triplicates but  I got very few presents amongst which  was a  little A5 sized plaque that was framed that my brother gave me. I was disappointed at the scarcity of presents as I  expected to have received more. After all , I had thrown a party and fed people for free. I will tell you straightaway that my brother got the brunt of my disappointment, as I took the plaque he gave. I doubt if I said a proper Thank you or even said a Thank You until  he  accosted me to find out if I had received the gift.I am sure my thoughts spoke louder than my words. I was unable to appreciate what was given to me because I had expectations to receive more and this usually is a problem whenever we get to this time of the ye

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…. … or so they say.   Smiles all around, Christmas decorations in town and at home, last minute shopping or stocking up, working the extra job to make a little more cash to spend – Yes Christmas can be exciting and exhausting all at once, but it’s the last holiday of the year so we like to go out with a bang. However, as the year ends, it is wise to take a quick trip down memory lane and reflect on the happenings so far.   A lot of people tend to gloss over things or forget the details, but I intend to call a spade a spade and be real about what this year was like for me.   So, I took on the challenge in January about stopping the blame game and what a challenge it was!   I realised it was so much easier to blame people for my shortcomings but once I had no one to blame, things got tougher.   I started the year with vigorous job applications and constantly telling myself that this will be the year for me.   Positive confession was not ea

It is already a   few more weeks to the end of the year and the temptation to start winding down and postponing some of our dreams to the very next year is real. It seems safer and far less disappointing to dream that the issues we have will be resolved in another cycle of 365 days than in the next 24 days . Whenever we come to this time of the year also, it seems most of the articles we come across are focused on Thanksgiving which we very often begrudge as we participate  But the general essence of Thanksgiving is not just another tick box exercise in our end of year list. In reality just as there are many things we think cant happen in the year again, there are actually somethings that still happen. Just this week , a close friend was telling me about the demise of another close friend of hers’ husband. This lady got married in her late thirties and her marriage is less than three years old, from something that looked like an acute attack on Sunday and was being treated

  We called it a social gathering/nite . It held at least once a term. All the students usually participated on a Saturday night. There was dance, drama, quiz, debates and games. It was our own way of getting together. Every class came Sometimes people were put on the spot.  On one of those days of our social nights out when I was still in a very junior class,   still in my boarding school, a female   senior student was brought out and one of my female   classmates (was also brought out) and then the MC asked my classmate to say something about the senior. I am not too sure she thought about what to say before blurting out “ you are short”.  It is almost two decades later and I can still remember that statement. I recall   telling someone more than a decade ago that her hair looked horrible .I cannot even believe I said something like that but I did   and we all most likely have several variations where we have played the part.  In the first case ,although  it was true the

Attending a boarding school is one of the very life experiences I am eternally grateful that I had the opportunity of having. In short most of my siblings did . One of the great advantages of being a boarder was the fact that you learnt how to live communally, we ate the same food at the same time, woke up , worked and slept at the same time. Unlike the day students who left the show at 2pm, the borders had 24 hours to each other, leaving there to be no room for pretense It meant that there could be drama and drama in the very sense of the word. I clearly remember one day while we were in the dining hall (usually we had   a certain number of tables and there was a mix in the number of students of different classes)   on every table. On that particular day   on my table while we were waiting for food to be served , two classmates of mine(of course, girls) got into a heated argument. One of them was quite vocal and as such was doing most of the talking. We had already pleaded for the

I never wanted to be a nagging wife.   I had heard a lot about how this particular action drove husbands to boiling point and how irritating the whole business was altogether.   So, it was on my prayer list before I got married – Lord help me not to be a nagging wife.   However, since I got married, nagging has taken on a whole new meaning to me.   I thought it was an issue for those who are known to talk too much in general, and since I am usually described as ‘quiet’, I never imagined nagging would be an issue for me.   I am a respected person and when I speak, people listen.   I am careful with my words as I aim to make impact with them, and I am not used to being ignored at all.   I also believe the biblical perspective of the power of the tongue, so putting all that together you can see why nagging should not be a part of my lifestyle. I got married and found myself in situations where my guarded words where not taken seriously.   One of the reasons I got married was to ha

During a counselling session, a man was trying to explain why he had beaten his wife. He said that the words that came out of her mouth moved his hands to her body remotely. Although I do not condone any excuse for wife beating, I can totally relate as the womenfolk   have an uncanny ability to aggravate the menfolk with our words.Nations have gone to war because of what women told their men in secret! I went to a boarding school which meant that we had fixed meal times without having to cook. Almost every term, I had a new plate to use which was mostly breakable to make it easier to wash. I had this favourite plate that my mum always bought for me to use so I was sort of attached to it . It was hollow and also had a floral pattern which was sort of gold in colour . One day after our lunch, I put my plate on my   school bag which was on top of my box on my locker. However when it was siesta time, I was having some trouble sleeping so decided to remove my novel from my school bag.

So, I’ve been trying to hold back on some comments but seeing as the year is gradually drawing to a close, I thought I should throw in one last rant before I get all sober and align myself to greater heights for 2019.   Even as I am typing, my toddler is trying to type with me and can’t understand why I am busy with something else.   I have never desired to be a stay-at-home Wife/Mom.   I have great respect for all who find themselves in this position, and even more for those who willingly choose this occupation, but I realised early in life that this is not my calling…… I started this article and had to come back a couple of days later to continue, and I honestly cannot remember what I was ready to rant about! I had to laugh a little because this is not a new situation to me.   I’ve recently had a few friends get married and engaged and while it is beautiful and wonderful to see new love budding, I can’t help but wonder how prepared these lovely people are.   Its not that

Last week, Keisha was talking about the path to becoming and it was quite an insightful read. If you have not had the opportunity to do so, it may be better to do so now before continuing with this piece . I have lived a few decades here and am yet to be able to count on one finger individuals whom I have met who have not expressed a desire to get married. This usually is a desire for several reasons- sometimes companionship, status, procreation and financial reasons to mention a few . But I have come to notice that not everyone who expresses this desire is actually bothering with the many little opportunities that present  daily to become a better person and God willing, have  a spouse. The grass of the married life usually looks greener to the single person who might be unaware of the cost of keeping the grass trimmed and attractive .Some     people become married only to discover the shock of the enormous responsibilities that come with becoming a home maker, having to deal

When I think about my single days and the guys I met at various times, there are some comments and experiences which stand out in my thoughts.   For example, I remember getting to University and wanting to really experience what it was to be a ‘girlfriend’. While I had hung out with guys and attempted a long-distance relationship (which started while we were apart), I had never really been anyone’s girlfriend in what I thought was the proper sense of the word.   It didn’t take long to get ‘hooked up’ but the process wasn’t quite what I thought it would be.   My boyfriend was dark and very attractive, not a student – so he had his own car and house, and he had experience in life.   I heard a few of his friends warn him that I was ‘A wife’ and not ‘A girlfriend’.   To be honest I took that as an insult as it didn’t make any sense.   I never knew there was a difference between the two apart from the fact that a good girlfriend should become a wife eventually. When the relationship