dishusbandmata

Being in love is one of the greatest things that can happen to anyone and it can either bring out the best or the worst in us. Well we do not usually see the latter unless sometimes the whole love thing goes the wrong way. And there are several reasons why love could go the wrong way and all the declarations of love turn sour. Recently I was in a train and went to use the rest room   and while I tried to use the flush, there was this automated voice that encouraged people not to throw things   down into the closet . There was this list of several things being read until finally the voice asked that we should not flush down our ex’es sweater. For real, I had a laugh . Why would one do that ? Then I remembered something that sort of happened to some girls in my university those days when I was an undergraduate. Someone   could decide to shame a fellow student   by paying another person to publicly pour a bucket of excreta on the person   in public. There were several rumours

There’s too much drama with the in-laws (at least in my head).   It needs to stop.   I have realised that I tend to bitch a lot about two groups of people; the people I love the most (hubby, siblings, parents, old school friends who have turned siblings - even if they don’t know this) and the people whose love and acceptance I crave (in laws, would be friends).   For category 1; I am not sure why but I expect them to fit into a mould created by me perfectly and I mean PERFECTLY.   For category 2; I expect them to love me and accept me unconditionally notwithstanding any failings or differences.   They should think I am perfect or I begin to feel bad.   Failure to do and be all I want results in me bitching so horrendously that any listener would think of them badly.   Don’t get me started about my imperfections, I know I have them just remind me that everyone else is allowed them too.   What?!!   Like that’s news to me…. So what do you expect?   Coming from the African backgro

We’ve all done silly things we look back at and just shake our heads at. Most people know that breaking up is a hard process to go through. But it’s even harder when you need to decide if you should stay in touch with your ex after the breakup. This is where things get complicated. But remaining in each other’s lives makes moving on harder and slipping back very risky. Funny thing is, I was just talking to a girlfriend about this a couple of days ago. We were talking about our ex experiences, and I was remembering how my previous relationship ended amicably – which led me to a place of false comfort in us staying in touch. I mean it wasn’t like the break up was dramatic, it was just a case of wrong timing and I fully don’t believe in going back either anyway. So I thought I’d be alright…. That’s why, I can’t even explain to you what possessed me to want to “stay connected” or what I thought would happen! Things ended with “If we’re meant to be together, it’ll happen soo

Let’s just start with the elephant in the room shall we? In my mere twenty five years on this beautiful planet, I have only ever been in one actual relationship. There, it’s all out now. To be honest, I still think I was too young for it to count but oh well. This relationship was a fast burner and looking back on it, I wouldn’t say I made mistakes per say. Our timing was just off. So if I had to pick out something that was an issue in this relationship, it’d be that I’m not an overly emotional expressive person. Public displays of affection was my biggest NO . Just no. I’m good, thank you very much. Alright, I think I should be upfront and just let you know that I’ve never been one of those ladies who romanticises their future relationship in their heads. I never wanted or even expected PDA, so imagine my confusion when my boyfriend (now my ex obviously!) sat me down one day and said “Do you actually like me?” . I honestly think my jaw literally fell to the floor. I was

I had looked forward to being a wife so much so that it seemed being one was an end in itself.  I never really saw myself as anything more than a working wife and mother.  Somewhere along the way, I put a glass ceiling on any type of ambition and fulfilling my personal dreams which are not linked to anyone else.  I stopped dreaming full stop.  It was as if I no longer existed.  There were a few false attempts but I seemed to always chug to a stop content to continue the daily cycle of work and house chores. If I had not married when I did, I would have been waiting and waiting for it to happen with everything at a standstill.  So it came as a surprise when it happened that discontent became my norm after a while.  It was not that I was unhappy (I had my moments).  It was that marriage did not seem enough!  If only I could have a baby, (mine took a while to come) I thought all would be perfect. Life was at a standstill to a large extent as everything revolv