dishusbandmata

I still can't believe it is another Christmas.It seems it was like yesterday but it is 365 days apart. Somehow this year,I have not bought any cards and do not hope to buy.There are so many electronic cards that I think the environment will be pleased if we do not buy any paper cards. With these electronic cards and messages the only thing that is complaining is my phone which keeps giving a message of full storage and I am sat here looking for a culprit. Honestly why do people send the same card to several groups that contain the same people,I mean that is why my phone memory is low now and it is difficult to believe that they would send these cards with the same enthusiasm if some form of payment was required. So this Christmas may I ask that we carefully consider the other person when we are forwarding Christmas videos and photos. Sometimes when the memory is too full,you end up seeing really important videos much much later. Enough,I guess all I am just saying is that thi

What a comment! I smile thinking about the few guys who introduced themselves to me in this way during my single days. It was enough for me to walk away laughing.  However, this little statement has had a different effect on me since I said ‘I DO’. Marriage is good - it really is, and I’ll defend and support getting married to the right person any day and anytime. However, God in His infinite wisdom has decided that we would not come to each other as perfect beings, but work together to achieve perfection in Him. The process is not a joke. Three weeks after I got married my husband demanded that I quit my job.  We had talked about our working arrangements and when I should leave (3 months after marriage) to join him before our wedding; but suddenly one evening, he just said a wife’s place is with her husband and ‘…I am your Husband!’  I began to understand why some celebrity marriages last only a few weeks.  I spoke to a few people and had mixed responses.  I had heard the submis

As my Online dating  subscription proceeded, I seemed to be facing one issue after the other. The next one I encountered was the matter of age. Yes, so many people say it is just a number but is it really a number? I had been chatting with two of  the Irish guys who had contacted me earlier. OlderIrishGuy has had a very interesting life and was looking to get settled with a nice girl and have kids. As a world-renowned commitment-phobe, alarm bells immediately started ringing as soon as I saw that and I had to tell him the age-gap (~20 years) and distance between us would be a problem for me; he was very understanding and sweet about the whole thing. YoungerIrishGuy and I kept n e-mailing pretty much every day. He was  very easy to talk to, which is really nice; some of the other guys I had e-mail exchanges with start off fine and then trail off after a week or so of communication and then I’m not sure what to do next. YoungerIrishGuy had a knack of keeping the conversation going s

I had to stay over at a friend’s place recently.  This friend was not in town and allowed me to stay over for a few days.  As I got into the room, thanking God for a safe journey and unpacking my bags, I heard a neighbouring female moaning in the bliss of sex.  It brought back a painful memory. I was studying really hard during my university programme and while working on my dissertation, I was chatting to a friend based in another town.  We met at a church event almost ten years before and we had met up a few other times as we had other friends in common. He was good looking but I was not interested in him as he was much younger than me and I was seeing someone when we met.  His degree was in the area of my dissertation and I genuinely needed help.  So he offered to come over and we could study together.  I lived with two other females and the living room was habitable so it wasn’t an issue.  We intended to study all night anyway. So my friend comes over and we begin to study

Just after I had spent money to register for this Online dating, my week became extremely busy. It’s typical really, you commit money to something and you immediately lose interest in it or find reasons not to use it.  When I finally did get online, I tried to respond to everyone who had contacted me. Not that I was particularly interested in some of them but just because I know how disappointing it could be to reach out and be ignored. It was my aim to be a blessing and to make things as nice enough for those who have been brave enough to wave…., however my resolve was sorely tested with the following conversation: Him:  Hi ThatGirl, your profile is fascinating and I love it. I wouldn’t mind if you reply to my message. Congratulations . Me:  Hi there, thanks for taking the time to read my profile and contacting me, not sure what the congratulations are for though?!! Him:  I am just congratulating you for your beauty. I have this feeling that your lovely smile radiates from your

Well it has been a while but this site is so gifted with writers that it takes a while before it becomes my turn to write or do I say it becomes the turn for my article to be published . For those who missed the first two articles, you can check the post “The Journey 2 “ on June 19 th . The Journey is about my experience in the search for love online. Yes ,you read right. Online. Why do people think it is wrong to find love online especially as the whole world is becoming a global village. I have been in Church pre Y2K  and post  Y2K and although I have heard several questions asked in Church or Christian gatherings, I am yet to hear one on if it is ok to buy things online. If we can buy things online including food, clothes, houses or even find a professional online,why can’t we do the ultimate search also online but I would leave this argument in the cooler for today. Well, as  my subscription progressed  ,I began to see why some brothers find it hard to find dates. There was

Current statistics show that about 2.5% of women and 0.4% of male have been victims of a sexual offence with about 90% of the victims reporting that the perpetuator was known to them  and these statistics vary from region to region although it is common consensus that rape or attempted rape is largely under reported due to several factors such as stigma, fear etc  In our society today,  there is the possibility that you or someone you know  probably may have had gone through  this kind of trauma, It is not just about whether it happened or not but even just dealing with the fact that one was about to be violated can be very traumatic and disheartening. This statistics I believe are for both married and single women and I remember one of the very first experiences. It happened when I was sitting for my GCSE s and met one of my teachers who had taught me in the extra lessons I attended years back when I was in primary school.. You know how teachers could be a child’s hero and he w

As women, we always want to be relational and love to remember special dates, days, occasions and events. Somehow you will agree with me that most women   rather than men are more akin towards the remembrance of birthdays, special anniversaries and   several milestones   and that in itself is not bad. It is only when we begin to   use those dates as a yardstick for life transforming decisions that trouble becomes imminent.   Sometimes some single people seem to want to tie one of the most important decisions in their lives to a gamble of special occasions and numbers. Imagine how foolish   it   would   sound   if   a friend   who   is   waiting   to have   surgery tells   you that   would like a particular surgeon to carry out the operation based on the fact that that surgeon shared the same birthday with her irrespective of whether or not he had the necessary skill or training. But it is something we see these days, a young lady or let's say a matured single lady is ge

If LOVE  was what kept a marriage, then mine would have outshone eternity. I loved my husband and even the devil could testify to that.I had dreams for my home right from the time I was a child. Like almost every woman, I dreamt about the big day and the many happy loving years after that I had read in those girly novels. We met back in my home country and started a relationship which did not materialize, shortly after which he left the country. I also  left for overseas and renewed contact. I had the right legal papers and before I knew it, we were headed to the altar. I became a Christian quite early in life and came into my marriage with all my virtues, believing that bringing my best and keeping myself is one thing that will make any man love and respect me. I do not know what to say but it seemed that my husband did not appreciate the fact that I was a “V” but we will leave that story for another time.  I started experiencing abuse early in the marriage but did not recogniz

In the course of waiting on the Lord, a lot of things happened that made me wonder why people, including Christians act or say the things they do. Being a matured single doesn’t make you any different from the seemingly young single girl out there.Sadly people think the pressure of age is enough reason for a matured single lady to target another woman's husband   or for crazy unsolicited  advice to be offered by so called well meaning people all in the bid to get her married. Some 13 years ago, some of us in  my church were looking to invest in Agriculture so we were going to look at some available land for farming. We were to assemble in a much older brother’s place but when we arrived he was dressing up, he came out and introduced us to his wife.Before then another brother had asked if she was going with us and she said a capital NO apparently she didn’t have any interest. When it was my turn to be introduced  since most of us were meeting her for the first time, he said “

It is one of those things I came across as I was growing up.Somewhere in the longing of the heart of every woman (maybe I should say most women) is the desire for that special somebody who would treat us like no other.The treatment we have always imagined that we deserve. Men being hunters seem to know how to play the cards well and would do almost anything to make the lady they are interested in feel special.And sincerely sometimes I wish it just happens like that as it would save us all from many needless sorrows.Boy meets girl, fancies her and treats her well in a special way.She responds to him and eventually they become special to each other. However sometimes this is not what happens. Rather some ladies try.to use special event or dates or even spiritual gatherings to find and determine the suitability. Of the intended. I will be sharing more on this int my  next post over the weekend Gracillis I

It is one of those things I came across as I was growing up.Somewhere in the longing of the heart of every woman (maybe I should say most women) is the desire for that special somebody who would treat us like no other.The treatment we have always imagined that we deserve. Men being hunters seem to know how to play the cards well and would do almost anything to make the lady they are interested in feel special.And sincerely sometimes I wish it just happens like that as it would save us all from many needless sorrows.Boy meets girl, fancies her and treats her well in a special way.She responds to him and eventually they become special to each other. However sometimes this is not what happens. Rather some ladies try.to use special event or dates or even spiritual gatherings to find and determine the suitability. Of the intended. I will be sharing more on this in my  next post over the weekend Love U loads, Gracillis

Any driver cutting through a red light would be deemed as crazy and a recipe for disaster. However sometimes in life, several people ignore the red light and drive through in a bid to become married only to be plunged into needless sorrow. Sadly,no sooner than they enter begin to consider the possibility of divorce. I remember a very close friend of mine recounting to me an experience of a friend of hers. Lets call her friend “ Simi ” .My friend introduced Simi to another friend and brother who we will call Bro Spiricoco as he is a Pastor and very much into active ministry. They had been chatting for a while and Simi was beginning to consider and pray. She added fasting to it ( dishusbandmata needs fasting o ) and  during one of those periods of fasting ,the brother informed her that he would visit  on his way back from a ministration in a neighbouring town close to her. She prepared for his visit, you know what we normally do and somehow, he arrived at night. She happened to

Hello  People, I know we are almost 2 days away from the second half of the uear and while this fact should bring a sense of urgency and destiny.it brings panic. There is this feeling of O Lord,it is another year passing again,is it not going to happen this year  While it may seem like nothing is happening, the truth is that God is working behind the scenes, and a great proof of our belief in him is our ability to be grateful. As we approach the second half of the year,I urge you dear Reader to Count your blessings. This year, there have been many surprises with various terrorist attacks. People wave their family members goodbye in the morning and never see them again.Some of these people who have what we may desire are no more here but alas,you are still here. Coming from a family that has a culture of gratitude I have also had to learn to be grateful and to count my blessings at all times.I have learnt that an attitude of gratitude helps one to maximize the moment. Y

There comes a time in the life of most women, when you tell yourself ‘ This is it. I choose him’ or ‘ I accept him’ , depending on how many proposals you get.  I wondered for many years how I would know the right choice to make. How do I choose one above all else, who is not Jesus?  People had asked me in the past, ‘ What will he do, to prove he is ‘ the one’ ?”  I really didn’t know the answer to that question and I told God not to tell me, but to show me, when the time was right. A friend gave me a message by a wonderful woman called Jill Briscoe titled ‘finding the will of God’. Jill said God tends to give you lots of little lights, like an airport runway, so you see clearly where you need to land. I’d like to share one of the lights that confirmed my choice. So I had just started talking to this dude, at one of the toughest times of my life. I was rounding up my thesis and it was taking everything out of me.  I had been praying to meet someone so I had to give him some little

Well like I said last time, this online thing appears to be the way forward and I am happy to say I got a date with that nice chap and was looking forward to it. Alleluyah I  did not sow in vain . However the date with the bloke didn’t happen as he turned up about half an hour late to the Southbank Centre. He did e-mail to say he was going to be late but half an hour, really? This lady had to leg it, especially as I really did have somewhere else to be later that day. And like how all good things finish just when you start enjoying yourself, my trial period finally came to an end almost unceremoniously but with lessons I would share with you. There are nutters everywhere and just because it is a Christian site does not eliminate that fact (after all, Judas was among the twelve). It may be a Christian site you intend to try or are using but I guarantee you, there are nutters there, so hold your wits together. If you have really bad self-esteem DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT try to init

Dear Wonderful Readers, I really do apologize  that we were unable to publish last week. We have been facing technology challenges but would be back on track. One of our writers went on a journey in this search for the "right one". We would be sharing this but to keep the identity of the others involved, we would be using anonymous names. Wondering what it was?It is something we all do, we use it everytime these days and most of all we do have gone digital .We buy online,eat online ,make friends online and when it comes to dating online,don't even go there!People are sceptical and if you want to see some reaction, try asking it in the next Question& Answer Session in your Church.It sets a fireball but hopefully here as you continue to read "The Journey",you will be entertained, inspired and informed.Watch this space for "The Journey". Gracillis 

Conceived and Concealed I was not overly worried about not having a baby immediately after I got married because I had had a revelation where I was pregnant with twins. Two years after marriage I was 40. I asked God for a 40th birthday present- my own baby. I missed my period and excitedly went for a test and it was positive, was quite happy. Some days later (Aunty Flow-the monthly visitor) showed up. I got confused   and then I went for another test and it came out negative. I decided to do a scan. The scan results showed I had ovarian cyst in one of my ovaries. I did the scan in June, my birth month; this was definitely   not the birthday gift I envisaged. I started to read and ask questions about cyst, got a lot of conflicting answers. I decided later to just put my trust in God. The month of August arrived and again  I missed my period  but I didn’t bat an eyelid, I consoled myself with the fact that  if truly I was pregnant, symptoms would show up. That August, I felt con