Something more but worse.


Current statistics show that about 2.5% of women and 0.4% of male have been victims of a sexual offence with about 90% of the victims reporting that the perpetuator was known to them  and these statistics vary from region to region although it is common consensus that rape or attempted rape is largely under reported due to several factors such as stigma, fear etc  In our society today,  there is the possibility that you or someone you know  probably may have had gone through  this kind of trauma, It is not just about whether it happened or not but even just dealing with the fact that one was about to be violated can be very traumatic and disheartening. This statistics I believe are for both married and single women and I remember one of the very first experiences.

It happened when I was sitting for my GCSE s and met one of my teachers who had taught me in the extra lessons I attended years back when I was in primary school.. You know how teachers could be a child’s hero and he was one of such. I was happy to see him in the  examination centre as he was one of the invigilators  and when he suggested we go over to where he lived, I innocently followed. We got to the place and after the conversation had gone on for a while,  I can’t even remember but while he was talking, he suddenly  reached out his hand and touched me on my arm, like  a  stroke. There was something about the touch that made me uncomfortable and then seeing his advances were frightening ,he asked me if anything was wrong and if  I had not been with a man before. Man ke? This sounded like what I had heard in secondary school,(one of my classmates said her mother told her that if a man touches you, you will get pregnant!). I replied in the negative and  got up to leave  as fast and far  as my legs could carry me, This uncle was definitely not an uncle at all.

Recounting to a friend, she related her own experience. She was working for a school proprietor and somehow , the job roles extended to doing some household chores and one day while she was making the bed of the lady  proprietor, the lady’s son came into the room and wanted something more. She begged and begged knowing that he could  easily  overpower her.He refused to listen and locked the door .She was desperate and began to pray for wisdom. After the chap had locked the door, he told her no one would know, she then said to him, “well you may have locked the door and it seems no one will know but I will cooperate with you only  if you can close the eyes of God who is looking at both of us from the ceiling” .Luckily, that struck his conscience and he let her go  free.

But not every one is as lucky as this and if you are a lady, it is something to be aware of especially when you are single, This is not saying the married ones are exempt as I heard recently of a man who went to work and his neighbour raped his wife. When he was accosted, he said the devil made him do it. How exactly did the devil make him do it is what I am yet to figure out.

So as  women, we have to be smart.I can recount several experiences,both personal and from friends and can tell you that we need to warn our daughters also. There are some certain precautionary things  that we should be aware of and being naive could be too costly. Unless otherwise proven, every male could become a potential rapist . (another friend recounted to me how her uncle came into her room and made advances, when she expressed shock, he was like,, ”are you not a university girl?)Sad though but it is true that even blood relatives cannot be fully trusted. In short, most children are sexually abused by people they know.

 I will  write more on some of these  warning signs gathered over the years .Hopefully this should help another sister out there and if you do have a  story to contribute with some wisdom to prevent  yet another  painful addition to the  already staggering statistics, please feel free to comment.
Love to write,

Gracillis

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