dishusbandmata

" Yes I do, No not any longer Part 1", was featured last week Friday. The concluding part was posted today as a result of demand. Read,Enjoy&Learn. Like I said in the first part of my story, the verbal abuse turned physical. My husband could become angry at the slightest reason  and I would get a beating. On one occasion, it was because I allowed our son run out to hug him before he had his bath on return from work that warranted a beating. All the beatings in the world never compared to the day my husband told me verbatim” I do not love you” . O it hurt me so bad but I stayed on. It was like a knife was put into my heart and left there, to cause a slow bleed to death. My husband’s disregard for me was shown on one occasion during a quarrel and I felt the touch of raindrop on my body. Unbelievable, my husband spat on me. I was so shocked .I ran to the bathroom to clean myself but it seemed that the pain that day brought so much pleasure to him. He repeated it o

It may be easier to actually start something over if it involves you only but when it involves others, it can get complicated. We as  human beings never really want to admit failure especially when it has got to do with marriage and sometimes spend our last nerve fighting over something we shouldn’t. Somehow at the back of our minds as women, we think if we shower the guy with all the love in the world , surely he will stay but if  love  was what kept a marriage, then mine would have outshone eternity. I loved my husband and even the devil could testify to that.I had dreams for my home right from the time I was a child. Like almost every woman, I dreamt about the big day and the many happy loving years after that I had read in those girly novels.  We met back in my home country and started a relationship which did not materialize, shortly after which he left the country. I also  left for overseas and renewed contact. I had the right legal papers and before I knew it, we were heade

Happy New Year to you and Thank God for another beginning.  Yes, a new year is a wonderful opportunity to birth a new you; but sometimes the pain of the past may bring a justified fear of the future.  Starting over is not always simple, and I believe it is important to do what works for you instead of sticking to the status quo.  I was reminded of my first serious break-up.  I had been in a long-distance relationship for a while and when the distance seemed to remain a constant, it was wise to end the relationship.  For me it was common sense.  When I met someone in my region, I was very excited.  I reminded God how I only wanted to date a maximum of three guys before marriage and how I would put my all into this relationship so that it would lead to the altar.  Everyone was happy for us.  His friends were happy, my friends were happy.  We looked good together.  We complimented each other and so on.  I was so caught up in making things work that that I forgot to look in the mirr

  One of the quotes that have stayed with me since 1998 is by Matthew Ashimolowo – he may be the originator ‘ Unless you leave this shore, you will not find another harbour ’.  The key issue for me is that I am not a quitter, I don’t like to admit defeat, I stick at things until I get to the prize, doggedly determined.  Then the time came when I felt pressed enough to leave my job…. I had heard it said and read in the papers that having a baby negatively impacts on a woman’s career hence, some bosses would rather not employ you etc…  Then I got pregnant and had to face the reality of going on statutory pay, asking myself how much time I wanted to spend at home with baby - how do I balance being a career woman, good mother and a good wife etc While in hospital, I got a call from my manager, ‘… there is going to be a departmental restructure, we will let you decide how you fit into the new arrangement when back….’ I thought it was great they were keeping informed even though I was o

Towards the  tail end of last year, during the Christmas week to be precise, there were several text messages, Whatsapp and Twitter posts that were circulated. While there were some really funny ones that got my ribs cracking, some got me thinking . And although it may not have  been the intention of the original writer, my analytic mind sometimes does not allow me glide over some things . You may have come across it but no worries if you did not but it was a certain Tweet questioning  the writer’s  relationship status as at the Christmas before(2015) which was single and the present Christmas(2016) which was Single, Single BSc(Hons). I initially laughed at the message and then thought that most likely  behind this message  was someone expressing disappointment for yet another year gone by and no change as it were in his/her marital situation. It seems like  surely 365 days is enough for Baba God to try and be merciful and remove  one from the most un-coveted position in the uni

One of the things about the New Year is there is a certain hope and  contagious expectation with which most people   start a year. Somehow there is a new surge of faith that says that the life that has been afforded is a divine sign that there is going to be change for the better in the future. With this new surge, several people start out with New Year resolutions that sadly do not last the first week of the year. I was on a Radio show the other day and one of the members of the panel said that New Year resolutions should be scrapped! Perhaps she had seen enough failures at it but the truth most times is that people sometimes set unrealistic expectations that are only doomed to fail, leaving them paralysed with guilty feelings. At other times, the resolutions have just been mere wishes with no concrete plans on how it would be achieved. When I was in High school, one of the paintings on the central building  which we as students had to see daily was  a quote by Benjamin Franklin