Starting it over -don't do it on your own

 One of the quotes that have stayed with me since 1998 is by Matthew Ashimolowo – he may be the originator ‘Unless you leave this shore, you will not find another harbour’.  The key issue for me is that I am not a quitter, I don’t like to admit defeat, I stick at things until I get to the prize, doggedly determined.  Then the time came when I felt pressed enough to leave my job….

I had heard it said and read in the papers that having a baby negatively impacts on a woman’s career hence, some bosses would rather not employ you etc…  Then I got pregnant and had to face the reality of going on statutory pay, asking myself how much time I wanted to spend at home with baby - how do I balance being a career woman, good mother and a good wife etc

While in hospital, I got a call from my manager, ‘…there is going to be a departmental restructure, we will let you decide how you fit into the new arrangement when back….’ I thought it was great they were keeping informed even though I was on maternity leave etc… the things that happen while you are away…..

Anyway (not in the right order), I decided to go back to full time work… but it was not the same.  I was faced with a meeting then phone calls deciding about my new role.  In a nut shell, I felt I had no alternatives and I had to take a job description with all the fun taken out of it.  I accepted it thinking, a) I have no choice, b) now that I have a baby, I have to try to focus on family more and be less ambitious… So, following the birth of my precious little son, began my "keep in touch "dates popping into work 2 days a week for 5 weeks before resuming full time.  

Soooooo, I started working with a new team and I did not like it one bit.  It was very convenient travel wise etc but there was a stirring in me to move on which continued until I sat down and evaluated my position.  I felt, I had regressed and did not see any prospects so I made up my mind to start applying for other jobs.

Cut a long story short, finding another job was very easy!! Yes, I was surprised.  I got the second job I applied for, great prospects, more money but with a 2 hour daily commute.  I was torn with my little one in the nursery and with a husband who had a 3 hour commute daily coming up. My mother in law was visiting at the time so I had input from both her and my husband regarding the move.  They both felt my then job was great for convenience but my MIL was a career woman who did very well and is an independent lady so she felt I should consider all aspects and just arrive at my own decision PHEW!!!!.  My hubby said, I will support you whatever you decide and we discussed child care, logistics etc.  Having a successful career mom, He believes in encouraging me to aspire job wise - story for another day .  He was excited about the improved conditions but to him it was no big deal, either way was fine.  I would have been happy for anyone to tell me what to do as I was really torn about leaving my then job but in this case it was as if God did it in such a way that I had to decide for myself.

I went through a period of seeking God.  When the contract was sent to me, I did not sign and return immediately.  I took my time (nearly a month).  You see, I was afraid of making a mistake and walking away from 4 years of the certainty of the same company, familiar colleagues etc for a stressful life.  Then God spoke, I remember attending a Christian conference – OFNC (Overseas Fellowship of Nigerian Christian) Women in Business and Leadership conference in Doncaster that year with this heavy burden on my heart.  During a group session while listening to successful mothers talk about how they negotiated work life with family life and about how they enjoyed Gods favour, I heard a still small voice, …Take It!!, I will be with you….  That was all I needed, I went ahead confidently!

I took the job and in just one year, God has given me so much more than I thought I would ever enjoy in work.  I am doing better.  I work with a team of people who have great confidence in me, they have allowed me travel within the UK and internationally on their behalf, I take decisions on their behalf and I am earning more, they let me go on a flexi contract when I felt I needed more time at home, I work from home where convenient, I had a pay increase after 4 months.  I could go on and on….

At the point of being interviewed, I did not see any of it coming and I must say I went into the new job fully resting on Gods promise to go before me.   I have no regrets!  Having a baby led to promotion - my case was different!

If you have to start over this year, I pray you do it on the back of Gods leading, cruising into a place of promise, increase and fulfilment.

 Now where are those New Year’s resolutions, I know I really need to table these before the King of Kings…

Stay Blessed

Ronke W