Stay True to You.


Happy New Year to you and Thank God for another beginning.  Yes, a new year is a wonderful opportunity to birth a new you; but sometimes the pain of the past may bring a justified fear of the future.  Starting over is not always simple, and I believe it is important to do what works for you instead of sticking to the status quo.  I was reminded of my first serious break-up.  I had been in a long-distance relationship for a while and when the distance seemed to remain a constant, it was wise to end the relationship.  For me it was common sense.  When I met someone in my region, I was very excited.  I reminded God how I only wanted to date a maximum of three guys before marriage and how I would put my all into this relationship so that it would lead to the altar. 


Everyone was happy for us.  His friends were happy, my friends were happy.  We looked good together.  We complimented each other and so on.  I was so caught up in making things work that that I forgot to look in the mirror.  Maybe I would have seen that I was no longer completely me.  In all my joy, I kept telling God to scatter things if this was not His will, as I had come to accept that God is Sovereign even in matters of the heart.  I understood that no matter how happy I was in this relationship, God knew me and loved me far more than I could know myself.  I met His mom.  She didn’t like me. He ended the relationship.  There wasn’t any particular reason he could give so he used that insulting line of “…it’s not you, it’s me…”
Yes, I cried.  How could I get dumped? Guys were still praying that I would look in their direction and this ‘fella’ had the audacity to dump me!? Once I had finished the outer drama, I took some time to analyse the entire relationship. I didn’t sleep with this guy, but I went to places I never thought I would go.  I entertained conversations that repulsed my spirit, all in the name of ‘…let me be committed to this relationship.’  I used to tell myself that I couldn’t run away from every problem, as that is a recipe for divorce.  This thinking pattern (while very true) was not applied in the correct circumstance and it made me tolerate a lot of inappropriate suggestions.  God showed me how far I had compromised during a prayer meeting, by sending the minister to stand right in front of me, with tears in His eyes and say “No more compromise”.   What a way to get a message across!  I was very ashamed and I knew I had to re-align myself back to God’s plan, so I took a year out from dating.

  
A friend asked me what would happen if Mr Right came during my year out? I simply answered ‘if he is mine, he will wait.’  That year out was beautiful.  God took the time to revive me and mend my broken heart.  The next time I met someone, I was changed.  This next relationship also didn’t work out, but I look back and I thank God for his help because I didn’t make the same mistakes.  The end of a relationship can be painful.  A friend of mine lost her boyfriend in a car crash.  I couldn’t even find the words to console her. However, God is all-knowing and nothing takes him by surprise.  I needed a year out.  You might need two years, or just a serious conversation with your mother, or even a painful comment from your younger sister who is married with 3 children.  Stay true to you and do what God is asking you to do.  One size does NOT fit all, but God who began a good work in you, is faithful to complete it.  Hope this helps.

From my desk,
Rita

Comments

  1. Anonymous27 January 2017 at 03:30

    hi there, you said you had a serious relationship with a guy and didn't sleep with him, is that possible?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rita17 February 2017 at 11:52

      LOL!!!
      Yes it is very very possible. I kept my viginity for my husband and myself. I am not saying that there wa no temptation, but having God's word and really good friends changes impossible to possible. Thanks for your question.

      Delete
  2. flourish3 March 2017 at 05:25

    yes, this is very possible by God's grace and determination. You can also make sure you don't put yourself in the wrong place. From the very beginning, agree this is a no go area with your fiancee/fiance and hold yourself accountable to some other couple.

    ReplyDelete

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