Really Thinking



Whenever we read an autobiography, one of the things that is noticeable is that it is not the day to day activities of the people’s lives that are written down rather it is the significant events in their lives that we read about and the word significant in a good autobiography does not necessarily mean  “good.” Sometimes events are unfolded and recounted, which  may to a reader seem common or trivial however the significance of the events recorded is at the sole discretion of the author.

And so coming to the last  Friday of the year, I will not attempt to give a rundown commentary of the year rather taking stock,  .I would say, that for me, I am grateful, grateful to be alive and  in my right mind ! Sometimes when we come to the end of the year and start to look back, there is actually a mixed feeling of regrets and triumphs  and I do know a number of people whom this year has been a year where they cried tears of joy as they saw things they had desired for so many years happen, when I think back at the couple who had not had their own child after matrimony eight years ago finally hold their own healthy baby or the friend who lost her first baby last year as a stillborn and now experience what it means to be a mother as she holds another precious baby in her hands after weeks of battling for her life in the intensive unit in the hospital post  delivery, struggling daily with whether this was not going to be a repeat of last time  and picturing right now her several tears of joy that flowed freely when she brought her child for christening.

Just writing now  also makes me remember another friend who after several miscarriages eventually held her second baby and another one who after almost a decade of doing menial jobs, eventually gets a job that sets him on a career pathway in line with his qualifications .There were   also  some  friends who eventually became owners of their own properties and lest I forget the ones who got married this year, …eventually . I confess, I rejoiced with them , really was happy for them even though my year was different.

This year 2018   has been the most challenging for me  and data protection will not allow me give all the details.There were .several things that happened  that were never in the plan ( not that one actually has any control sometimes).It was one thing after the other, there was even a time I was involved in an accident, simply reversing into a Mercedes Benz car  after I had done my shopping. What in the world was I thinking on that April Fool’s day. I almost thought it was a joke as the owner of the Mercedes tried to convince me of the damage done insisting that  it was a new Mercedes he had just purchased  in December and we had to go down the insurance path unfortunately. There were several times I felt helpless and just allowed tears to flow freely as I received one email after the other. But this year  although there were several times when I felt helpless, I cannot say I felt hopeless. And this in itself makes me want to recount some of the things I loved that happened this year ,

At the very beginning of the year, I got to see some family members and friends  I had not seen in a long time because I decided to do something different which is something I am grateful for. It was a visit I had always wanted to make  because  family for me is top priority .One of my family members was also involved in an accident,  sustaining minor bruises after jumping out of a moving vehicle following the steps of the driver!(and trust me, it wasn't a movie scene).That all the members of my family members are alive today in a year where it looked like someone I knew was dying every other month, I am immensely grateful .

 The second significant thing that happened  that I would like to mention was that  at the very last quarter of the year, , I  found myself setting some writing goals  and surprisingly  met those  goals . That in itself was a point where the penny dropped because at the beginning of the year, I had not really set down any goal and aiming at nothing, I hit none .

Looking back now, I realize that it was fear that made me not set goals  at the beginning of the year.That fear of failure which sometimes hinders us from moving forward and I have decided that for some of those things that have been in the thought realm for a long time, in the new year, I would do something about them  and involve them in my goals list .

With less than 72 hours, allow me to wish you  a Happy New Year from myself and the entire team of dishushusbandmata.

Happy New Year,
Gracillis.

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