dishusbandmata

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Here’s a conversation between old classmates from a sitcom I watched a few years ago. “You stole my b oyfriend! You stole the life I could have had! I had a good thing going and you just came in, offering what I couldn’t give him, and you took him away from me!!!” “Yes, I did, and I took the AIDS he should have given to you as well!!!”   And then there was silence. Hindsight is an amazing gift.   That moment when you realise how close you came to making a huge mess of things – priceless. In some cases, you might even want to thank the person who took the bullet for you.   I spend some of my leisure time watching sitcoms, and it was on one such occasion that I heard the phrase ‘…the one who got away’. I thought about those words when the film ended and laughed as I recalled two scenarios from my past where that phrase played out. The first was with my first ‘proper’ relationship. As a teenager, I used to beg God in my prayers for the privilege of just on...

Learning to let go comes to us all as we grow older.   The better you are at letting go the more at peace you will be with yourself and the more time you will have to yourself for your self to figure out the person you need to be and to appreciate the people God brings your way who genuinely want to walk this way called life with you. Some relationships are meant to be lifelong like the relationship between husband and wife, children and parents, siblings etc our family ties.   Those relationships are worth fighting for, keep on keeping on. as long as it depends on you .   The thing with relationships however is that it doesn’t always depend on you - the other party counts too. The relationships we have with our friends somewhat differ. With friendships, some are lifelong, and some are brief.   Knowing the difference and sometimes letting go can add value to your life where   the friendship is not reciprocated.   Many things lead to   ...

How do you know when it is time to “let it go”? We experience various scenarios when it comes to relationship dynamics, which can get a little bit confusing. I mean being on our own can be complicated at best, then we add other people to the mix and that just creates a whole lot of drama! Now, I’ve heard people say that breakups usually happen for one of three reasons. Number one, you find yourself in a happy relationship and the other person just decides it’s over. Number two, you find yourself in a toxic relationship and you just have to leave. And finally number three, it just isn’t the right time and you both decide to leave. Now regardless of the reason, the experience in itself is painful to go through. When we think about the effort and time and energy that we put into our relationships that fail, it can get discouraging pretty quickly. I can remember clearly my one and only experience going through a breakup. I was older than him, but I thought he was a great danc...

Dear Amrita, Happy Birthday to you – future me!!! Yep it’s a brand-new year for you and I hope you have had a lot of excitement in the past 10 years. Yes, this is Amrita from ten years ago.     What’s the world like these days?   I hope it is not too weird reading from your past self.   I’m writing down some goals for this year and the next ten years, so I wanted to have something to remind me of what I’ve written.   Let me remind you about where things stand for me at present.   I had a really good education and I completed my Masters over 5years ago (that is 15years to you), but I am currently not using my degrees.   I’ve picked up a few other qualifications from free and paid courses; however, my main occupation right now is parenting; and while this is a very noble and important investment, it is not yielding any immediate financial rewards.  Remember how in our single days we dreamt about building a financial empire? The idea...

When I was growing up, my Dad ran a very successful business and Mum worked at home; okay I would have said a stay-at-home Mum, but I have never been comfortable using that phrase to describe Mum because it somewhat has a way of conjuring a mental picture of a woman who is home all day doing nothing or watching TV - well just throw in a few chores. Okay back to Mum. The phrase just doesn’t suit her. She had nine kids to bring up, two or more extended family per time living with her, and several others dropping in to visit, or spend a few days or weeks (yeah weeks) unannounced. Dad gave us money to buy lunch and if we needed anything else, we saved from our lunch money. My father got to know we saved and blew his top; “why are you saving?” he wanted to know, “ is it to pay rent or pay your school fees ?” He told us never to save , that if he gives us money for anything the money should be used for the purpose it was given.  He told us we were his responsibility and if we needed...

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never thought of myself as one to waste money. I mean, I’m a self proclaimed bargain hunter. But when does it stop being about spending wisely, and starts being about trying to stop yourself from buying everything you don’t need? Any one else know what I mean? The problem is I find those “sale” prices. EVERY TIME! And then I end up feeling pressured, by myself no less, into buying everything. Towards the end of 2018, I realized something had to change. Because I had new responsibilities, like paying rent for the house I’d just moved in to, I ended up being more conscious of my spending. Like I mentioned earlier, I have always thought of myself as someone who’s quite good with money. Maybe it was because I didn’t really have much to spend those times as opposed to now. But it was a shock to my system when I began to take stock of my finance at the end of 2018. This was prompted by a post on here in December called Realistic Stock Taking (i...

 I enjoyed the car ride to our shopping destinations and loved window shopping, I just did not understand why mum was sometimes grumpy whilst shopping.   Most of the time she did not want you tagging along but at the slightest opportunity, we would happily grab our shoes and sit in the front seat of the car looking out of the window and dreaming about being able to go out by ourselves. The only time you were allowed to chip in is when you go out Christmas clothes shopping.   “Which colour do you prefer”?   At many stops she would say ‘wait for me in the car’, there was one year we waited in the car even for Christmas clothes shopping and to make matters worse, we ended up not seeing the Christmas clothes till Christmas morning (heavens, there was one year they did not even fit – big enough to grow into so we wore them later in the year)!   On the flip side, we had great times sneaking into our parent room going to the wardrobe, and taking a sneak peek the...

There is a   Family Tradition that holds every last day of the Year in my birth home. The day   is usually filled with prayers of Thanksgiving   for the ending year & requests for the coming year. It is one tradition that we(my brothers and I) somehow did not grumble much   about, because   though it meant being without food for most of the day,iit also meant   doing   the   least possible house work while remaining indoors . I cannot remember when it started but it has always been and ever before the era of mobile phones, myself and my siblings   all had to be   present physically   to participate. But over the years after relocating, I had not   conventionally participated in it for over a decade     and   so had some of my siblings who had gone ahead to have their own homes. So I was surprised when an idea popped into my mind last year. I quickly swung into action     making me to send ...