She’s the One!!!




Church romance, an interesting concept, or is it?  Depending on what church you go to, or what part of the world you come from, or what department your serve in (yep, its true), your experiences may differ.  Yes, relationships can start in the church setting, and to be fair most of our parents would prefer us to meet Miss Perfect and Mr Right, in church.  However, the whole world got that memo; so once a person feels ready to settle down and tie the knot – Church is the place to be.

I remember a guy who turned up in my local church once. He quickly joined the choir and mehn did he have a voice! He was a doctor and he was looking for ‘the One’.  Once people felt sure of his foundation, he received some serious attention.  I was twenty at the time and he was thirty, but I still wanted him to look my way.  He quickly caught my drift and gently put me in my place. That hurt, but I moved on swiftly. The church however had other ideas. Moms gave him their daughters and nieces numbers. Single ladies in church were throwing themselves at him.  I recall one lady even left the church because he rejected her advances.  He endured this for about two years, before he met his stunning wife.

Once I completed my first degree, it seemed everyone around me wanted to see me married.  I also wanted to get married but it wasn’t the driving force of my life.  I remember a male quartet that came to minister during a concert.  I like to sing so I naturally drift towards amazing talent in this area. Two of the guys in this group kept in contact with me.  I was 23 at the time, and both of them felt I was the woman they had been waiting for.  I remember thinking God wouldn’t send two men who were like brothers to the same woman. I had to turn them both down as I didn’t hear what they claimed to have heard.

Not long after, an elder in my church, whom I greatly respect, told me his brother-in-law had seen me a few months ago and was immediately “sick with love”. I was under a heavy amount of pressure with this one.  How would I turn down an opportunity to be a part of this elder’s family?  I decided to at least talk to the guy. He was nervous initially, which I found kinda cute, but it wasn’t long before we realised this wouldn’t work.  It took a while before I stopped avoiding that particular elder but thank God, we crossed that bridge.

Now, I honestly was not playing hard to get; but I didn’t want to build a bad reputation of going around all the guys in church. I kept praying and waiting.  Another unique brother moved to my town and joined my church.  I remember him testifying about his job and a friend saying “… these are the kind of brothers we are praying for!”.  He took an immediate interest in me and I was honestly elated at this.  We met up in town once and he said he would love to get to know me better and for us to be more than friends.  I said I would think about it.  I went home smiling but as soon as I got to bed that night I felt uneasy.  I would see him on Sundays and we would laugh and play, but every time I wanted to pray about him, I would feel disturbed.  I was actually getting upset with myself as I couldn’t understand why my heart and head were not in one accord.  A girl friend once asked me why I was wasting this guy’s time and I felt bad, but I didn’t have an answer. 

A year passed.  My guy was still making advances towards me and there was no one else showing any interest.  Then one day, we have a programme in church and he comes with this lady who he introduces as “His Queen”.  I’m sure my mouth was hanging open for a while.  This chic was very different from me.  The following day he asked me to attend her birthday party. What!!!  I got home and asked God why he didn’t just tell me what was going on.  I eventually called this guy to ask him why he had been disturbing my life when he already had someone he was committed to. 

He said if I had agreed to be his girl, he would have ended things with this other lady.  I wish I could tell you he stopped making advances to me but that didn’t happen.

I remember him catching me at a weak moment once.  Nothing happened but I was so ashamed and afraid of what could have happened.  I didn’t want to sow what I didn’t want to reap.  I called this brother later that evening and begged him with tears not to ruin my life, but to take me as his younger sister. As the blood in my veins is red and not blue, I could not afford to test my strength any longer.  Thankfully he heard me and agreed.  The next time he saw me, he told me that since he couldn’t have me and he now has to play big brother, he will introduce me to one of his friends because he knows I am a worthy catch.  I was a little flattered I must admit.

The first guy he brought was cool at first sight.  During our first proper conversation, he mentioned his genotype, which was not completely compatible with mine. Bummer! That had to end.  My new big brother was so upset, but he then introduced me to another friend, whom I really didn’t just gel with.  I told my brother not to worry about me, as God will sort me out in His time.  Big bro got married to his queen.  It took me a while to even talk to her but years on, and we get along okay.  Even when his wedding was announced in church, some of the women said I was wasting time, that’s why I missed this opportunity.

I can probably count about 3 or 4 more brothers who indicated a serious interest in me, and whom I actually liked, but had no peace on the matter.  As soon as I said no, they got married to the ladies they had been hiding.  At one point I felt annoyed at God.  Am I the last comma before the full stop? Why are these people ‘trying me out’ when they already had investments elsewhere? And then it seemed like I was the problem as all these guys were getting married. 

Listening to the still small voice can be hard when emotions are playing havoc with you.  God loves us and he truly knows what is best, so learn to trust him.  God let me know that all those girls that had been hidden, were also his daughters.  He truly does see the bigger picture.  I eventually met my now husband in church.  He and ‘Big brother’ are friends now.  I look back and I don’t regret saying No.  My husband had no insurance chic waiting anywhere as all his cards were on me.  He looked at me and said, “She’s the One!”.



Many thoughts,

Emily

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