Little Whispers 1


I was reading last week's post, and wondering how we are plagued with several counsels without us formally going for counsel. I will call them "Little whispers". There are several of them that we hear and we have somehow imbibed over the years .I will start with one that I cannot say exactly when I heard it but I have heard it long enough and you most probably have. Our mothers seemed to have used it to their advantage and an ancient Queen used it to save her people from extinction (you can check the story of Queen Esther ).

So this first whisper is " the way to a man's heart is through his stomach". Well that may automatically remove some people who do not like to cook but perhaps there are several substitutes to that. You don't have to be the one to cook, it just says you should work hard at providing the food although not necessarily bringing the funds for the food !

While I agree with this statement to an extent, my issue with it is  if the stomach is apparently his chief concern in his dealings with you, then like my friend Ijeamaka Palmer would say, it may be time to call yourself to a big meeting, after all no matter how much your girlfriends would love to be bridesmaids , none of them will be willing  to come to a wedding between you and a stomach. I mean if his stomach is the only thing he thinks about, then  perhaps it can be said   that that's as far as you are going to get, his heart is somewhere else and the earlier you make that distinction the better.

Sometime ago ,some of my girlfriends and I were discussing about whether  it was best to show your boyfriend or significant "other" your cooking skills before marriage. Hmmmm,well I told them the following story which I would like to share.

Some years ago, I was out of work and I had this guy who was supposed to be apparently interested in me.At least I recall him saying "I love you" but confess that that was the most unconvincing time I heard that phrase used.You know how it is when you meet someone who you know is just trying to fulfil the social status of being married and it is not really that they are crazy over you. Yeah, I can see you and I am sure I have several witnesses and guys to be honest, ladies know.

Here I was ,no job , no money(he knew) and then he was like "I want to pay you a visit" .Well I agreed to the visit and he came. Shortly after his arrival I  offered him rice and the following conversation occurred
"What kind of rice is it?" he asked. 
"White rice", I replied .
"O, I don't want white rice, don't you have jollof rice ?" For real, just hang on .
"No I do not have jollof rice  but I can give you juice", I replied.

So I offered juice and biscuits which he ate. I am not sure if he knew he was going to enjoy my company for a long time but some hours into the visit, he asked ,"What about the white rice?please bring it". In the nicest voice I could mutter, I simply replied "O, I am sorry, that offer is over ".
After sometime he left and we did continue to be friends, even when he asked a girlfriend of mine out too (I told you he was just wanting to get married ). But why would you come to someone's house  and start ordering like it is a restaurant.The last time I checked, I did not have any restaurant sign in front of my house. I thought that was bad until my friend shared hers. 

This certain brother "B" asked another sister after church service on Sunday that he would like to visit which she conceded. On the first Sunday, he was entertained   with Jollof rice,  fried chicken and Juice which he ate happily. The next Sunday , he did thesame thing and of course,  came empty handed again. He was fed by the sister as usual. By the third Sunday, he still approached her and got himself invited over to her place. On arrival, he started his usual gist and continued. After waiting a while and seeing there was nothing forth coming, he summoned up courage and asked her ,"are you not eating today ? Her reply -" O,I don't have rice in the house today? He seemed to have brushed the statement aside and continued for another hour after which he asked her again when he was offered nothing -" What about Indomie,don't you have Indomie?" 

Her reply  was in the negative, "I do not have indomie in the house "
Well they say three is the godly number(Number for trinity) and so this godly brother patiently waited for almost another hour, filling up the time with conversation that was apparently going nowhere  and then asked finally -"What about garri, don't you have garri?"
This time, she gave it her all, and in no compromising manner said " I don't have garri and I dont have food in the house". It was not long, after a while, he got up and excused himself and left and your guess is as good as mine, he never came back..She was definitely glad to see the back of him and brought out her food to eat alone.Where do we place him? Was he just using her for a free meal or being genuinely interested in his stomach.


I am all for hospitality but if someone seems to be more interested in his stomach than his heart, talk less of yours for that matter, then it may cost you an arm and a leg eventually! If you are running a Soup kitchen or providing meals for the homeless, let us all know(so we can help with directions).There is no point feeding someone who is not interested in the hope  that, that would eventually get him hooked.When a man wants you, he will go to any extent to get you. When he does not, you will  just be wasting your time investing in where there would be no returns especially when there will always be that girl he really loves who is doing absolutely nothing but walking on the very floor he worships .Any  genuine guy who is worth his salt   will be looking for a way to impress you,  and if there is no food in your house, after he has eaten there twice would think fast of how you  both can go to the nearest  place  to get  something and if he does not have the money , I was not the one who sang  the song "No romance without finance" .

Have a lovely weekend

Gracillis
Dishusbandmata……passionate about relationships
.
If you liked this article, you may like Other posts by Gracillis

1.Put your best foot forward:https://dishusbandmata.blogspot.co.uk/2017/09/put-your-best-foot-forward.html
2.Changing my Yes: https://dishusbandmata.blogspot.co.uk/2017/07/changing-my-yes.html

Comments

  1. Soar like The Eagle14 April 2018 at 06:55

    Great write up Gracilis. Looking forward to more sequel on Little wispers .... those counsels we hear that really we need to re-evaluate

    Well done Gracillis.

    ReplyDelete

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