dishusbandmata

I had hardly been months in a particular relationship and was not expecting a proposal so quickly as I had my doubts. So I was a bit taken aback when on an outing one evening, just by the car,he put one knee to the ground to ask for my hand in marriage .I was not overly excited or elated and did not give an answer until several days later .Some of my friends were happy for me and said the excitement may come later  but somehow I did not feel excited even after saying yes but  It just seemed that was the next step expected and I was also hoping that now the relationship had taken a serious turn, some of the issues I had would be addressed. The very first time I met this guy (let’s call him Kenneth ),one of the things he said to me was that “ I love truth ”. But I soon discovered that it was actually the opposite. Several times, I heard him say things that were not true and even when I accosted him, there was one excuse or the other. Another issue I experienced was the fac...

Diary Excerpt 1:   It really isn’t that easy, although everybody says it is.  This is getting too tricky for my liking.  Nothing could have prepared me for this but the pressure is serious.  Big sis always says don’t make your husband despise your family and don’t make your family despise your husband.  Really tricky!! I assumed that since dad is clergy and a really good marriage counsellor, my case should be pretty straight forward.  I forgot this would be new territory to him and his reactions are so foreign to me.  I don’t know this guy, cos this ain’t my Daddy! Diary Excerpt 2:   I haven’t written in a long while because a part of me doesn’t want to remember these days.  I have all sorts of worries.   I worry that my husband to be will not respect my family because I have told him things he could use against me.  I worry that my father will not give me his blessi...

Happy second half of the Year. How time flies, it was just a little while ago that we were saying "Happy New Year" to each other. Earlier on last month , I saw the topic for this month and was wondering what to write since we were to talk about the journey from proposal to marriage ( I am currently single-not for long though ). Well, it is not every proposal that receives a positive answer that eventually gets to the altar. Somehow along the way, there are several things that may truncate the process  and unfortunately  some people get disappointed and become disillusioned  when a courtship eventually does not work forgetting that one of the purposes of courtship is to ensure that a marriage is not unnecessarily contracted. I am big on commitment but I believe that there are times when it may be necessary to severe a relationship. While I was in the university, I remember an announcement and invitation  in my home  church  just before I left for ...

It wasn’t love at first sight or anything. We were just in the same fellowship in college. In our final year we both became executives in the fellowship and you were the president. We got close in the course of working together as a team but even closer when we both had to resit a course each after our final exams. I remember those innocent years when the innocence of youth was undefiled. Our friendship was deep, we had so much in common. Unconsciously I feel in love with you. I spent a lot of time thinking about you it was until we left for home after the resit that I realized I had fallen in love with you. It was such a delicious feeling. I practically was floating on air with the way I was feeling. Then you proposed to me, I saw it coming, we have gotten so close that even when we are apart for weeks but the time we see it was like we saw each other yesterday. I was so happy, it was on a easter Sunday you visited me and we went out and you said you have fallen deeply in...

I noticed sometime ago that I was added to a group on Facebook. You know how suddenly you discover you are in some groups that one random person added you to  and for months I never really checked them out until sometime last week. It is supposed to be a ladies group that offers support  and I came about the following written by someone. "I have dated my boyfriend for 5 years now but he has not proposed. When he got a better job, I reminded him about us but he said I should give him time that he has plans ,he had plans 6 months had gone and we are still living together and splitting the house rent.I insisted on him taking the next step or I leave the relationship.,but he pleaded with me to buy myself the engagement ring while he refund me at the end of the month.I asked him if he will propose if I buy the ring and he said yes/I finally bought myself a ring and gave him which he did the drama and proposed and I accepted ,but when I told him the price of the ring which #190...

Church romance, an interesting concept, or is it?   Depending on what church you go to, or what part of the world you come from, or what department your serve in (yep, its true), your experiences may differ.   Yes, relationships can start in the church setting, and to be fair most of our parents would prefer us to meet Miss Perfect and Mr Right, in church.   However, the whole world got that memo; so once a person feels ready to settle down and tie the knot – Church is the place to be. I remember a guy who turned up in my local church once. He quickly joined the choir and mehn did he have a voice! He was a doctor and he was looking for ‘the One’.   Once people felt sure of his foundation, he received some serious attention.   I was twenty at the time and he was thirty, but I still wanted him to look my way.   He quickly caught my drift and gently put me in my place. That hurt, but I moved on swiftly. The church however had other ideas. Moms gave him...

I met my husband at my church convention, one of the biggest ministries in Africa. We served in the same unit and got talking. We became friends and later o,n he proposed. I was 36 years and I was already anxious because all my five sisters got married in their mid-twenties, the one considered to have gotten married late was 29 and it was because she was studying for her masters. My husband was into dry cleaning business and after a while, the business packed up. I wasn’t deterred, I was confident things would work, I had my plans laid out. I was running a side business because where I worked closed shop. My family were happy for me and because of our financial status, they decided to forgo a lot of cultural demands to help us. I paid for my mother in-law trip to Lagos, it was her first time in Lagos. The clothes she wore on our engagement and wedding ceremonies were all provided by myself. My hubby did not contribute a dime to our wedding, I paid for everything because God r...