dishusbandmata

Last week, we got a little history lesson on the term ‘Making Love’. We found out that it originally meant “paying attention to someone romantically”. Today, I want to talk to us about the part of this most of us ignore, forget or don't even realise exist. And that’s the side of assumption . To woo, flirt or romance someone might mean so very different things to people, depending on their motives. So many times we (especially us ladies), jump to conclusions just because someone approached us in a certain manner. “He gave me a lift home, so we must be dating now”. Yes I know that’s extreme, but I know ladies who think this way.  We stake claims to people we have no business with, just because we assumed the motive behind their actions. I have a friend who was sure of her “relationship” with a guy that when he eventually introduced us to his girlfriend, my friend couldn't even feign civility! I remember us girls sitting down to really bash this guy out (because h...

Erm… where do I start? In preparing to write this article, I’ve had to do some reflecting and deep thinking. Make Love.  The phrase alone gives the impression that love can be made.  Since this is an English phrase, I googled a bit and realised that ‘Making love’ has only recently come to mean ‘having sex’.  Originally it meant to woo, or flirt or romance.  The term originates from the French phrase ‘ faire l'amour’ , which means paying attention to someone romantically .  From a female point of view, this makes complete sense! Sorry about the history lesson.  My marriage is very young so I am still comparing my fantasies while single, to my current reality.  In fantasy world (the few times I actually allowed my mind to wander), I always imagined what making love would really be like.  Yes, it should involve sex, but my thoughts didn’t focus on the act, but the wonderful hunk who would create this amazing experience with me.  Reality h...

During my undergraduate days ,I had a flatmate who was a deeply spiritual sister whose godliness also was taken on the outward appearance with the elimination of jewelry and all forms of make -up. She was also engaged to a brother of the same denomination. So I was very surprised one day when I saw her with a book titled “ Sex begins in the kitchen ”.It was a very intriguing title and she assured me that it was an interesting book. I gave her the money to purchase a copy for me also byt when she returned from the market ,she searched frantically for the book which she claimed she purchased but could no longer find. I could not afford another copy and ended up not reading the book until several years later. But as the years have passed by and I have read several books on relationships, most of the authors seem to agree that the issue of sex is not an isolated event for a woman. Rather its success would be dependent  on several other factors along the way and in her day that...

Having a topic to write on in theory can sometimes be challenging and so I had mentally taken myself off from contributing on the topic  for this month ”Love making” until the writer scheduled was unable to meet the deadline ,leaving me with the arduous responsibility of filling in the gap….Happy Reading … While growing up, I was an avid and a very fast reader. In my early days in the secondary(high) school, I read all the possible books of Pacesetters series  I could lay hold on(surprisingly you can still get them now). If you are from my  generation, you may remember “ Evbu my love ”,  “ Rich Girl, Poor boy”, “ Naira Power”, " Agony in her voice ", " The Cyclist " , The Betrayer ", ” The Black Temple ”, " Death is a woman ”, “ The Equatorial Assignment " ,“ The Undesirable Element,” and so many  more. I remember reading about the main female character : Bintu  in “ The Undesirable Element ” following the Alhaji and the next...

I had hardly been months in a particular relationship and was not expecting a proposal so quickly as I had my doubts. So I was a bit taken aback when on an outing one evening, just by the car,he put one knee to the ground to ask for my hand in marriage .I was not overly excited or elated and did not give an answer until several days later .Some of my friends were happy for me and said the excitement may come later  but somehow I did not feel excited even after saying yes but  It just seemed that was the next step expected and I was also hoping that now the relationship had taken a serious turn, some of the issues I had would be addressed. The very first time I met this guy (let’s call him Kenneth ),one of the things he said to me was that “ I love truth ”. But I soon discovered that it was actually the opposite. Several times, I heard him say things that were not true and even when I accosted him, there was one excuse or the other. Another issue I experienced was the fac...

Diary Excerpt 1:   It really isn’t that easy, although everybody says it is.  This is getting too tricky for my liking.  Nothing could have prepared me for this but the pressure is serious.  Big sis always says don’t make your husband despise your family and don’t make your family despise your husband.  Really tricky!! I assumed that since dad is clergy and a really good marriage counsellor, my case should be pretty straight forward.  I forgot this would be new territory to him and his reactions are so foreign to me.  I don’t know this guy, cos this ain’t my Daddy! Diary Excerpt 2:   I haven’t written in a long while because a part of me doesn’t want to remember these days.  I have all sorts of worries.   I worry that my husband to be will not respect my family because I have told him things he could use against me.  I worry that my father will not give me his blessi...

Happy second half of the Year. How time flies, it was just a little while ago that we were saying "Happy New Year" to each other. Earlier on last month , I saw the topic for this month and was wondering what to write since we were to talk about the journey from proposal to marriage ( I am currently single-not for long though ). Well, it is not every proposal that receives a positive answer that eventually gets to the altar. Somehow along the way, there are several things that may truncate the process  and unfortunately  some people get disappointed and become disillusioned  when a courtship eventually does not work forgetting that one of the purposes of courtship is to ensure that a marriage is not unnecessarily contracted. I am big on commitment but I believe that there are times when it may be necessary to severe a relationship. While I was in the university, I remember an announcement and invitation  in my home  church  just before I left for ...