Another woman?Fight the right battle!

I have been reading in the papers about Amir Khan’s wife’s public fall out with his family.  I hope all ends well for them; they all seem to be greatly pained by events however, it will take the grace of God to recover from all that and be better than before relationally. If she was OK with her mother in law, the MIL could have ensured her hubby and kids tow the line – the powerful other woman, I tell you.  It is hard to publicly humiliate another woman and her family like that.  Anyway….

I started praying for ‘my future partner’ since I was about 12 years old.  I am talking practically daily… yeah, right?  I went to a Missionary boarding school for girls and that was a prayer point which came up at every assembly … I know!!!! We had assembly every day of the week, not to mention church service morning and evening, weekly bible studies etc …and I thank God for it …. now.  I took marriage and children to be a given.  It is what happens when you grow up isn’t it?  Backed up by my dad’s, ‘work hard, pass Maths and English especially, go to the University, then get a job; be a successful young lady and you won’t have any problems settling down in a good home’, I was going to be fine.

Then as I was working hard, I started waiting for Mr Right, waiting, waiting and waiting…  I was very shy etc so burying myself in school work and Christian activities etc was fine by me but it got to a stage that while rounding up University I started looking around me; noting the girls that were ‘going out’ with so and so and some of the relationships seemed even serious, errr…. then I started attending weddings etc I was now thinking, is there something wrong with me?  Should I dress differently, act differently, go the extra mile i.e. break the accepted ‘good girl runs’ in my bid to get the right guy?, ‘Tush up’? … (I know I ‘bone face’ a lot but it was a coping mechanism for shyness).

Anyway, after soul searching during this period, by the grace of God, I came to the conclusion that I was OK, there was nothing wrong with me and any man that I ended up with would have to consider me worth the effort (see the treasure in me), that I would not have to strive or fight to be in or keep the relationship.  This was my prayer.  I did not want to have to fight for attention or love or convince him that I was worth it, it was not something that came naturally to me.  He would  need to do the fighting  in my case.  God gave me a peace and confidence which has stayed with me till date. I know that God builds a home; He works things out.

It wasn't that there were no toasters....

To be continued,
Bibiana

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