Marrying by Revelation

It is just about the end of a very busy week for us down here and I hope that you have eventually found time to put your feet up.I  must confess that  I have been thinking about what to write and eventually decided to continue from where we stopped. Remember the last time, on "Marrying by Grace"someone was trying to approach me claiming he had been told to marry Grace and to be honest, there are a variety of ways I have heard proposals done. There is no really one way of doing it as long as it works for both parties, the only trouble is when it does not.

I still remember those days before the era of the teachings of  Pastor Bimbo Odukoya of blessed memory where it just seemed that the teaching prevalent on marriage was on finding the will of God. This will of God was something that was received usually by the brother and most times, no other thing was taken into consideration apart from receiving and finding the will.The more spectacular and unusual the revelation, the more spirituality was accorded to the recipient with the greater likelihood of a positive answer.The brothers seemed to  always receive the revelation and the sisters had to wait  for the will to be revealed.But I am not sure how many people really waited or actually helped the will to be received by going the extra mile and helping the brothers with bowls of soups&food (popularly called the "Cooler ministry").I am actually convinced that the epidemic hit my university the most!,Did it happen in your university also?,While some of these relationships started well based on the "will", many ended in a nose dive as so many other factors were not taken into cognizance. I must admit that those days the near impossibility and stigma of divorce may have played a role in the survival of the marriages that  went on to be  contracted.

From what I remember, people found the "will" and married or moved on to another will by revelation so I was very surprised when I heard two stories from two different Pastor friends.The first was of a brother "A" who received a sister " P"while they were in Bible College about 30 years ago,he approached her and did not get a favourable answer.He however was so convinced that she was the one perfect will and never married anyone else. This sister "P" went on to marry and has had all her children in a loving home. By the time he met this Pastor friend of mine, it was almost twenty five years and his Alumni was planning a twenty five year Class Reunion.During the place of counselling,  this brother "A" still expressed his desire  of the possibility of the  availability of sister "P" believing that if anything had happened to her marriage, then he could get ahead and propose to the perfect will of God.. However my Pastor friend tried to reason with him and they reached a compromise that if he meets sister"P" in the Reunion and she is still happily married and yet unavailable,he would have to  move on.Did I hear you say fast.

Well he reluctantly agreed to this and went to the Reunion and your guess is as good as mine,the sister is still happily married, He kept his word and has now married another sister "A"(A being alternative) however with the condition that whenever the former sister "P"who is the original will becomes available,then the marriage to sister "A" will be automatically  over so he could go ahead and marry the perfect will.( I am not sure how brotherly this thought is as it seems to me  sister "P" is secretly being  wished  a divorce or widowhood).And yes the other sister "A" agreed to thee condition and they are both married now. Selah!

I thought that was bad enough until  another Pastor friend quite recently told the story of  yet another brother  "B"who also received a sister "C" several years ago.This sister "C" of course did not play allegiance to his revelation and has moved on and married someone else.However brother "B" is still waiting and when brethen  tried to talk to him about the folly of a never ending wait, his  reply was  "the strength of Israel cannot lie".The issue is he may be sincere, but oblivious to the fact that he s sincerely wrong or could it just be put down to pride,ignorance from incomplete  /one sided teaching or  maybe downright stubborness. But for whatever reason,how far should we go with  revelations and , how dependent should we be on them?

We would love to hear what you think and what part revelations played in your relationships,yes the gains and the pains.

 Watch this space
Gracillis 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The things I never told my Mother

Growing up for me was blissful. I had a father who would listen,  empower  and reinforce to me the fact that God fearfully and wonderfully created me. Daddy told me daily how I could be anything I wanted to be. You see, my daddy was 30 years older than my mother. He was better educated in “terms of certificates” than her and he was a greatly travelled gentleman. My mother on the flip side, was only a standard six certificate  holder, from  a more humble background but “a very intelligent woman” without the glory of “many paper certificates”.   By virtue of the gap in their background, my mother’s mantra was to beat the discipline physically, by “fire by force” into one’s body. My father would discuss with you and explain very calmly, ensuring that you understood what and why you need to make recommended changes. The two had modus operandi that were the opposite to each other.   I look back and cannot remember the one time my father hit me or ever shouted at me. However, my mo
Read more

Put Your best foot forward

 A wise person once said “ First impressions last long ” and when it comes to meeting new people especially if they happen to be members of our new family or extended family by that thing called “love” ,it is important that we deliberately make sure we create good impressions. This is because according to Andrew Grant, “you never get a second chance to make a first impression”. Although not all   first impressions are necessarily true, it  is usually a herculean task to change wrong first impressions. Just this afternoon, I was chatting with a friend and she ended the conversation with “dealing with in-laws is a skill” . While almost everybody wants to be married, not everyone wants to deal with in-laws or the stereotype mother in-law. The latter seems to be the most unloved compound name word and some people have even been known to pray that they would not have one by the time they meet their spouses! Well that kind of prayer is only fair to be answered if they also mean that
Read more

Changing my Yes

I had hardly been months in a particular relationship and was not expecting a proposal so quickly as I had my doubts. So I was a bit taken aback when on an outing one evening, just by the car,he put one knee to the ground to ask for my hand in marriage .I was not overly excited or elated and did not give an answer until several days later .Some of my friends were happy for me and said the excitement may come later  but somehow I did not feel excited even after saying yes but  It just seemed that was the next step expected and I was also hoping that now the relationship had taken a serious turn, some of the issues I had would be addressed. The very first time I met this guy (let’s call him Kenneth ),one of the things he said to me was that “ I love truth ”. But I soon discovered that it was actually the opposite. Several times, I heard him say things that were not true and even when I accosted him, there was one excuse or the other. Another issue I experienced was the fact that I
Read more